Practice Makes Peace...

We are going to Kenya.  Words I never really expected to come out of my mouth in a serious, actually-mean-it way. Yet, here we are. We are going to Kenya.  God has been preparing our hearts - my amazing husband's and mine - for this for two years. He has built up relationships with contacts there and given opportunity to minister through prayer and preaching long-distance. And then the call came, "Would you come?" Yes. Yes, we will.  As I have prepared our home for us to be away, our kids to feel safe and be cared for while we are gone, our finances for us to remain in good standing, our various responsibilities to be covered, and my heart for however God may choose to use me in this, I have asked,  "What is my role? In what way am I to serve the church and the people of Kenya while we are there?" The role I thought I would be serving - co-speaker with my husband during a five day pastors' conference - has suddenly been removed. One week from ...

Matthew 5: 15-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.   Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.   In the same way, let your light shine before others, so  that they may see your good works and  give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ***** Like everyone else in our nation, my social media feeds, my conversations, my thoughts have been preoccupied with the tragedy of the school shooting in Parkland, FL. The arguments regarding blame, contributing factors, policy changes, system failures, the depravity of mankind, the multi-faceted nature of any kind of solution...they are swirling with seemingly no logical progression or concrete action points. And all that I can think is that we are being human again.  These events are the logical end-point of a world without hope. A generation without foundation or direction. The solution is actually simple...

Wildfires in Montana, Washington, and California. Floodwaters and wind damage in huge portions of Texas. Entire islands underwater and an historic storm barreling toward the Florida coastline. And those are just the headlines in the United States. It all seems pretty catastrophic, doesn't it? Pretty "Hey, God, wake up!!! We're dying here!!!"  I admit to a recent night of near-terror in my heart regarding the fate of my family if I were to do what I felt He was asking of me (namely intentionally staying in the path of what looks to be a nasty storm that, at that time, was projected to hit us head-on). Why would You ask that of me, God??  Do you know that if you listen, you will find that He answers? Last night, during a time of prayer, this is where He led me: May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high! May He send you help from the sanctuary and support you from Zion! May He remember all yo...

A recent statement made by a friend has come back to haunt me today. He said that "Teaching is more often something we are learning than something we have learned." The incredible thing is that, when parenting/teaching your kids, you often find that you are learning something that you didn't realize you didn't know. Today was one of those days when I found out that something I had been taught - a simple, pithy, taken-for-granted philosophy that is frequently thrown about - was dead wrong. It is one of those many things you repeat without thinking too deeply about it. A belief that seeps into your subconscious without your notice simply because of its pervasiveness. I wonder how many more of those I will have to "teach" my way into seeing for what they are? Today's lesson: "Respect is earned."  How many times have we heard that? Said that? Crossed our arms defensively and spat it between clenched teeth as someone demanded respect from us t...

I have been hesitant to publicly wade into the whole Gun Control debate. I hold my views. I hold my peace. I have no desire to draw undue attention to myself or my family. I have no interest in inviting argument, defending my stand, or condemning those who may disagree with me. Again, it is one of those things about which I wish there was a more common culture of respectful public discourse because I do believe it is an important issue for our nation. Today, in following a story link provided by my brother and after browsing through the responses, I found a man who had eloquently shared my thoughts on the subject without venom or defensiveness. He just stated the position and left it at that. I am copying his statement here. In my opinion, it is a well-thought, well-stated position worth considering. And I, too, will leave it at that. Thanks, Finn; your words are fitting and I appreciate being able to share them. "First let me preface my remarks by stating that I am not a ...

There are so many things I have on my heart that are begging to be written. Our family has been so blessed in the last several weeks.  Our joy in our faith is being renewed as we celebrate Hanukkah, the miracles of God, and the Advent of Emmanuel among us. In contrast to seeing the Light of the World grow brighter with every candle we light, we have been witness with the rest of our nation as darkness has sought to extinguish the light. Families are in mourning. A horrific act of violence against childhood innocence has sent shockwaves throughout communities around the world. Many are in fear that this darkness has the power to overcome us.  Fingers are being pointed at everything from guns to government conspiracy to mental illness. Action is being desperately called for to give us some sense of security; some feeling - however deceptive - that legislation, societal awareness, *something* can effectively assure that nothing like this will ever happen again. But the truth ...

Sometimes I think the contradictions and paradoxes within us make finding a balance impossible. And yet balance is what I desire. Balance in our approach to homeschooling. Balance in responsibility and utterly abandoned fun. Balance between self-sacrifice and self-respect. Balance between work and home. Balance between family time and alone time. Balance between social interaction and solitude. Balance between introspection and spontaneity.  Perhaps the biggest personal struggle for balance I have fought of late has been that between the desire to instruct my children in faith, give them meaningful traditions, and yet not bind them in chains of religious obligation. I feel the responsibility so very deeply to teach them the freedom in Christ, the deep love of the Father, the redemption that was paid for, and, yes, the willing and grateful submissive response that should evoke in us. But I am loathe to instill in them any obligatory service, any guilt or manipula...

You know how you think you're totally over something?  It's been worked through, prayed over, forgiven, resolved, and it's in your past... and then something comes along that brings it back up to the surface again and it blindsides you?  Yeah, that's been happening to me this week. And I'm not particularly proud of the range of reactions my thoughts have been serving up. What's got me all in a dither? The whole health care as a campaign issue thing. I deliberately do not publicly get into political views and debates. Much like in the church, I feel that too much condemnation and judgementalism gets into too many of those conversations. I hold my beliefs. I live by them. I vote by them. And I am content to let you do the same. I will talk with you about them but I am well over trying to prove that I am right, you are wrong, and that if you don't see it my way you deserve a tongue-lashing. Civil exchange of ideas, I'm all for...but that's a rarity in...

Today I had to take a quiet mommy-moment behind closed doors so the kids wouldn't see my tears and ask about them. They would have rolled their eyes and made the crazy-sign with their finger around their head, anyway. As will some of you, maybe. Because I was in tears over this: Yep. My son standing with a cute look on his face, wearing a pair of jeans did me in. He picked those jeans out on a trip to a thrift store yesterday. Yes, they have a hole in the knee and will probably wear out very quickly. But you don't understand: he was asking to buy a pair of jeans!!  One of the most pronounced sensitivities Michael has had is a sensitivity to clothing.  Texture, fit, how it feels when he moves - it's a big deal. Very rarely does anyone in the family buy clothing for him because we have learned that if he doesn't choose it, he probably won't wear it. For years, it had to be very tight. As a five-year-old he had to be pressed to purchase clothing that was lar...

Many thanks to my Mom for sharing a blog that speaks that for which I had no words. Follow this  link. Please. No matter where you are today, what circumstances surround you, may the Truth of the Hope that lives, of the Light that is eternal, pierce and banish any darkness that threatens to overtake you.

Really. I wish I could bookmark today so that I could go back and re-read it over and over again. It was one of those glorious it-all-just-worked kind of days. We woke to two kids sleeping in late (our "weekend" is Tuesday/Wednesday around here) and the other two whispering and plotting how to build a Lego scenario. There's something wonderful about laying in bed, slowly adjusting to morning wakefulness and listening to kids share ideas and giggles. Over the next couple of hours, everyone got moving and we shared a special weekend breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes, sausage, and pineapple. And I found myself laughing that our kids' appetites have gotten to the place where they'll polish off almost 3 full recipes of pancake batter. Wow!! Then it was on to that every-day stuff. Laundry had to be done, the dog walked, beds made, the house opened to the warmth and breezes of the day. After the kids got their chores done, while Dad and I collaborated on laundry...

Dear Nursing Staff, Thank you for taking wonderful care of me today. Your prompt attention, compassion, sense of humor were all appreciated. I'd just like to address one misconception that seemed to come up *every* time one or another of you came to my room. One of you went so far as to be sure to inform the new nurse to the room of this staggering misconception. So, I'm sorry if I shatter you, but... being a mom of four kids and homeschooling them does not, in fact, qualify me for sainthood or Superwoman status. Although your awe and compliments totally made my day...when I closed my eyes and ignored their insane level of falsehood. :) I could tell from your reactions that somewhere in your mind this picture was being painted: A family in which some Otherworldly magic has imbued the very atmosphere with a backdrop of harp melodies, the strains of which caress each gentle child to wake in the morning with the sweetest of spirits. Upon awakening, this Otherworldly influence cont...

The Winds of Fate One ship drives east and another drives west, With the self-same winds that blow, 'Tis the set of the sails And not the gales That tell them the way to go. Like the winds of the sea are the winds of fate, As we voyage along through life, 'Tis the set of the soul That decides its goal And not the calm or the strife. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The conversation in our home this morning as the kids waited for breakfast: Michael: so...God made us...but how did he get our ribs to wrap around our bodies? They're hard. How did he get them to bend like that? Me: **insert brief explanation of DNA chains that contain codes of instructions for the cells as they develop to grow in exactly the way God wants them to grow to create the parts of the body** Michael: There are directions for all of my cells? Me: Yes. Michael: Well, then, why did God give my cells directions so that I would have autism? **crickets chirping** Reese, without missing a beat and with a "well, duh" tone of voice: Because He wanted you to be unique! I love my kids.

is so very tired. I've got very little to say. Between hormone shifting that's leaving me sleepless, kids who have no respect for the fact that if you stay up all night you should really be allowed to sleep all day, having a *major* curveball of a decision thrown at us that had to be decided in a matter of days, and general familial stress, there's no room left to form coherent thoughts for blogging. So. I will share with you the joy and sentimentality of the link that my brother made sure that my niece would pass on just for me. It was his first communication with me after he landed in Qatar last night. Get your tissues ready. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTjx-9GYy1A&sns=fb Just can't see the screen for the tears, can you? I love my big brother and our strange and wonderful relationship.

I don't talk about it much. I deal with it daily. Some days better than others. But it's always there in the background, threatening to derail the day in an instant. I hate labels. I hate boxing people in. I hate narrowing who a person can be down to a set of predictable or probable behaviors. And yet... It is time I look it in the face. Call it what it is. Use the labels as tools to find partners who can come alongside us and help unlock some of the secrets to being parents who give their kids the very best chance of becoming who they were created to be. I have a son with autism. More exactly, I have a son who has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism and secondary attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. My brilliant, sweet, snuggly, orderly, just-so, complex-subject grasping child is autistic. EVEN on days when he *appears* to be typical, he is not. Even though he is highly intelligent and has no comorbid physical problems, his brain still functions in ways that need ...

I've tried writing this post 3 times now. I find that, unlike many of my blogging friends, I am simply not able to put into words the path I am travelling *as I am travelling it.* I'm much more of a reflecting-back-on-what-was-learned type. Not really going to spend a lot of brain power deciding whether thats good/bad/indifferent; it is what it is. So. Suffice it to say that I'm travelling a path right now that is not easy. Today, though, I had a respite. Tangible encouragement. And while I'm not one given to mysticism or symbolism, I am learning to look for God in His creation and finding that it is true; He's placed Himeself there if we only take time to look. We spent the day taking a much-needed break from "normal life" at a local springs. It was beautiful. Sunny skies, crystal water, rustling trees as they stirred in the gentle breeze; perfection. Stepping into the water was an incremental process. Somehow, I'd expected 72 degrees to feel warmer t...

It has been an emotional day. For me. For the vast majority of our country. An objective so long sought has been accomplished. What concerns me most is the reaction I have seen to it. It worries me - what it says about our country. About the condition of our hearts. About the clarity of our minds. Whether we realize what we are saying at all... Here is a brief summation of the ponderings of my heart today. *Am I deeply grateful to our military for completing this mission objective? Absolutely. *Do I fully agree that it had to be accomplished? Yes again. *Do I think it solves everything? No. *Do I think there will be political advantage taken? Of course. By both sides. *Does it terrify me how many "hope he had full magazines emptied into him" or "wish I could've seen his eyes" kind of hateful, pleasure-in-death statements worthy of an Osama Bin Laden type person I have seen? YES!! *Am I sickened that it seems that both people who can't stand Bush and peopl...

This about says it all: http://jeremiah18-4.blogspot.com/2011/03/news.html My Daddy never ceases to amaze me.

I've been a negligent blogger. Especially when you consider that I've strung y'all along in suspense over this whole "will the crazy 38-year-old be able to complete a half marathon" issue! So?... Do ya wanna know?... Since it's a full two days after the event?... The answer is a resounding YES! I was able to finish. But not only did I finish, I learned so much about enduring, overcoming, and truly finishing *well*. Three weeks and three days before the race (coincidentally, about the same time I fell off the edge of the blog world) I had a little mishap. While riding my scooter to work, a gentleman in a greater hurry than myself ran a red light as I was beginning a left-turn into my business parking lot. I didn't make it to the lot. I had a split second to decide whether to gun it and beat him (not realistic), keep going and get hit (not attractive), or slam on brakes on fog-wet pavement and eat it (sounds good to me!). I went down on my left side with my ...