It's been one of those weeks. One of those months, really. Living life at break-neck speed and not necessarily handling the stress well. Most of the causes of the speed have been wonderful blessings: preparing for an awesome new job position for hubby, the return of football season for Mr. 14, purchasing a new scooter for job commuting, gutting storage areas, decluttering, rearranging furniture, getting organized for schooling, tons of research because we now have a direction with our 6-yr-old's autism diagnosis...lots of good stuff happening in our lives. Just stressful.
Some of the craziness has been not-so-good: family members and coworkers going through some tough times that weigh heavily on our hearts, me personally dealing with some wonderful shifts in my hormones that seem to be alerting me that my forties are fast approaching, some parenting challenges...not such fun but not dramatically horrible, either.
It has all reached a tipping point this week, though. You know that feeling that you've somehow reverted to your teen self and all that hormone-driven frustration/anger/self-pity makes you think your head is going to explode? (please tell me you know that feeling...I'm not the only hormone-crazed thirty-something out here, am I?) Thankfully, I have the benefit of age now and understand rationally that it's really not all that bad. In fact, my life is quite amazing. I just find myself thinking that maybe it would be even easier if other people weren't involved! ;)
So, rather than remove myself from those people or remove those people from the planet, I took some time to smell the roses today.
Well...not really the roses. More like the native flora and fauna of Florida. And you know what I found? I remembered that this is the place that the peace that passes all understanding is most felt. By me, anyway. The quiet rippling of a creek, the graceful dive of a seagull or pelican, the perfect artistic blend of colors and textures in the greenery and grasses...all of it carries the very essence of peace and oneness with my Creator. It is almost tangible and I find myself unconsciously breathing deeply the scent of tranquility.
This is my backyard.
I may not have material possessions, I may not have monetary wealth, I may not have status or prestige, I may not have perfect children or be in perfect control of my own self at all times...but I am blessed. In fact, in many ways because I lack some of those things, I am blessed. One step out of my door and I am graced with this. Beauty created for my eyes to behold, lovingly placed here by my Creator for my sustenance. It is not just water for drinking and soil in which to grow food, but sustenance for my spirit as well.
Quiet in the midst of noise, tranquility when I'm surrounded by busy-ness. The simple pleasure of space in which to breathe...