I'm slipping....

Two posts in one day...something must be happening:

I'm sympathizing with that poor little pupa who had to scale a glass vase to reach the place where it could cling and complete it's transformation. I watched him through the process. He'd climb, then slide, then climb some more and anchor himself with a bit of silk, rest a while, then climb, then slide, then anchor himself, ad infinitum. The key, I suppose, was that each time he remembered to anchor himself and he continued on. He never slipped farther back than his last anchor point. (something akin to the rocks of testimony piled in the wilderness by the Isrealites? hmmmm...) So, here I am, spinning some silk to the surface of that vase.

Today has been a gradual slide from this morning's "beginning to see" post. I've dealt with both a migraine and the onset of some kind of allergy-induced sinus drip/sore throat/general yuckiness. And, in equal proportion, the kids have lost their sense of cooperation. This, of course, happened on the one day this week that Dan is working open to close. My runner has climbed out through the front window, sped down the street and holed himself up in the bathhouse. My little princess has deliberately removed her panties and peed on the floor. My most mature helper has refused to back off of bossing the little ones around and has incited near-riot conditions with his strutting and demanding. My "middle kid" has been belligerent and has tried to elbow anyone who crossed him (because Mom's smart enough to catch an outright punch but would never spot a sneakily delivered elbow jab...right). And I've been the paragon of virtue and strength and right attitudes and gently corrected each and every infraction. Ummm...or I became a shrieking shrew. One of those.

So, let's see...true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, worthy of praise. Where is it?

...my runner didn't head for the main road this time. He stopped at the bathhouse and came back home willingly...without climbing the ladder to the roof. Praise you, Lord, that's an improvement in his response.

...Miss princess chose a spot that was linoleum rather than carpet. And she did at least remove the panties so those won't have to be washed.

...Mr. Bossy was indeed doing what he was doing in an attempt to keep things "under control" so I could rest and get feeling better. His heart of service and compassion was the motivator; he just wouldn't listen to my instructions on *how* to handle things. Thank you, Lord, for a growing young man who wants to honor His mother. Please give me patience as I teach him methods to best express his heart and give him a teachable spirit.

...Mr. Belligerent is attempting to back off on his tendency to be violent. Not so long ago, he wouldn't have cared whether I saw a punch or not; he would've been happy to take the discipline if he got to have the fun of socking the person who deserved it. He's a work in progress, too, and I need to recognize his progress. And, again, his violence was triggered by misbehavior by the siblings; he was trying to get them to stop bickering and didn't use the best tools to accomplish that.

*sigh* Much like my shrieking wasn't exactly the best tool, either. The lovely thing here? God brought me up short, sent me running to Him, and has me posting here to refocus on Him instead of continuing in my rant. And I'm already seeing the result of His Word working in me as I seek to find Him in this. My blood pressure is down, I'm formulating my apology to the kiddos for my part in this slide backwards, and the enemy hasn't been able to get me to give up on the climb. Okay, here we go, back up the side of the vase again...


  1. Oh, Becks....I am so glad that you have a blog. I have read from your first to your current post and i just love to read your writing. I know that distance seperates us but I feel that I can connect with you here, at blogger. As I read I get a glimpse into your daily life and I have loved each word as you poured out your heart and shown what it is that God is doing with you.

    God bless you for being who you are. I admire you for your diligence in facing matters head on. I appreciate your genuine-ness here. I promise to be praying for you and I will keep up with you here.

    love you, girl...xoxo

  2. I have an award for you!!! It's waiting on my blog.

  3. Oh hey! I found you!
    ok, now I have to go read read read :D


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